In the documentary, ‘Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead’ on about day six of his juice reboot, Joe Cross goes into a New York pizzeria just so he can smell the aroma of the cheesy, doughy concoctions.
It is a sad scene to watch; a grown man forlornly watching bustling New Yorkers chow down, whilst he laments his relationship with food.
I never fully empathized with Joe until starting this challenge myself.
Yesterday was my day six and I felt exactly like Joe in that pizzeria.
Just because I’m not eating solid food, it doesn’t mean that the rest of my family is fasting.
And anyone who has been in charge of a boisterous being or two, in their time, will know that the battle cry “I’m hungry” is a persistent refrain. Often I feel like a short-order cook: ready to serve meals at the drop of hat and on constant duty. Normally, feeding my family is something I love. But not this week. This week preparing the evening meal has been fucking hard, let me tell you.
Yesterday I prepared dinner for my family. A sumptuous feast: homemade mac and cheese (two different varieties),
a gargantuan salad and plates of other yummy nibbles.
Whilst my family dove into their dinner (with the gusto of Henry the Eighth), I drank this:
Yes, it was refreshing and delicious. Yes, it made me feel good. But the scents of the gooey cheesy pasta and watching my family munch away merrily was almost too much to bear. I could have wept…and I don’t even like macaroni and bloody cheese.
But fast forward to now. The morning of day seven. I’ve almost completed my first week!
The reboot is getting a lot easier. Initially it was hard. Really hard. To be honest, the first two days were a fucking nightmare.
When you take food out of the daily equation your body behaves like an annoying toddler, screaming incessantly:
“Feed me…FEED ME NOW!”
But then, like a toddler after a massive meltdown, my body is slowly calming down.
My body is adjusting. It’s amazing how adaptable humans are.
So after a week in the reboot saddle, this is what I’ve learned:
1. I am a needy fucker.
We all need cheerleaders in our life and taking on a radical lifestyle change like this wouldn’t have been possible without
1. My Family
2. My friends
3. The online reboot community which has saved my bacon (not that I’m eating any) this past week.
2.I have strong willpower
It is empowering to see just how much resilience I have. So often in life we second guess ourselves and our abilities.
Persevering with this challenge shows I’m capable of determination. I intend to harness this willpower into other areas of my life.
3.Juicing too much beetroot can make your pee turn pink.
I did not know this. Then when I peered into the toilet bowl, I nearly shit myself…but I’m juicing, so I didn’t.
Anyway, turns out pink beet pee is called Beeturia. Who knew?
4.I am buying way more produce
When you juice you need a fuck of a lot more fruits and veggies. Undertaking a reboot is definitely not cheap. I reckon I must be spending about $25 a day on fruits and veggies. But compared to being sick, or the price of junk food and expensive lattes or whatever else, I’d say in the long run, I’m saving a fortune.
5.Evenings are the toughest
Since I’ve started this reboot, I’ve leaped out of bed at 6am, like one of the spring birds chirruping at dawn outside my window. But by the time night-time rolls around, I’m fucking shattered.
My solution to the dusk drearies? Laugh and then laugh some more.
Thank fuck for George Carlin.
Every night I’ve watched one of his comedy specials on Netflix.
For the uninitiated, George Carlin is a North American comedic legend. Damn that man was a word wizard.
His word-play is astounding. Listening to his musings has made this reboot a fuck of a lot easier.
I just hope I can find enough George Carlin comedy specials to see me through the next three weeks.